She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
