I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
