his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
