cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
