You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
