I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Are these your boobs on my camera?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
