Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
