Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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