That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
