He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
