yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
