Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
