David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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