He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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