Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
