and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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