Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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