If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize