I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
thus making me awesome and them whores
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
