He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
