Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
