i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
