Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just found a bag of teeth...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
please don't ironically join a cult
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