well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize