Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize