That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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