The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
