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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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