Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
