I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
