I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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