the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
