Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
