I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
