He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
nutella sex= disaster
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
