But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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