It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
