I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
