it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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