Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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