She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
