Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
