I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
