are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
