sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
