Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
