You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
