i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
