Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize