It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
