he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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