I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
