it glows. i had to have it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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