Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
