My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
