Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
