You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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