did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
