Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
