So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This is the high leading the old right now
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize